Here’s the bio I send to people:

A graduate of Emerson College’s Master’s program in Publishing and Writing, I’m a content designer for FinTech companies; a comedy writer who has been published in the New Yorker’s Shouts & Murmurs, Vulture, McSweeney’s, and others; and a wellness writer who’s written for HuffPost, Narratively (their second most read story of 2021), Al Jazeera, and more.
Here’s the bio I’d like everyone to know:
I listen to punk to wake up and funk to write. Proto-metal is for editing.